TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE DEALING WITH A DUMB CRIMINAL: 1) He took public transportation to and from his bank robbery. 2) He is using his seeing eye dog as a look-out. 3) Instead of a cherry pie, she shoplifted yeast, flour, eggs, and a jar of cherries. 4) You caught him driving a stolen car with "The Club" still on. 5) He tries to convince you that he thought crack was a breakfast cereal. 6) He responds to your use of verbal force with a bunch of "Yo'momma" oneliners. 7) He makes himself laugh every time he says he's innocent. 8) He claims diplomatic immunity because he's a citizen of the Republic of Texas. 9) He asks the judge for a senior citizen discount on his 7-year sentence.