Truths For Mature Humans

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by grizcty, Sep 22, 2010.

  1. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    Truths For Mature Humans

    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11.
    You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (and sometimes that’s at 8:15 am)

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (some of us haven’t converted to whatever Blue Ray is….)

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

    24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)
     
  2. .22guy

    .22guy G&G Enthusiast

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    Great stuff right there! :)
     

  3. Ten Man

    Ten Man G&G Evangelist

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    I'm ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

    That was great, Griz!
     
  4. I actually just laughed aloud. Good stuff! I especially like #5, 17, and 20
     
  5. Paul T

    Paul T G&G Newbie

    Done thirteen a couple of times
     
  6. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    SO true !! Its absolutely perfect !!
     
  7. Ninja Piper

    Ninja Piper G&G Evangelist

    You know that feeling you get when you know something went horribly wrong? That feeling is 10 times worse when it strikes in midair!