NEITHER SYMANTEC OR McAFEE HAVE ANY SOLUTIONS FOR THESE YET!! The AL GORE Virus... Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting. The CLINTON Virus... Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO Memory. The BOB DOLE (AKA VIAGRA) virus... Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy. The LEWINSKY virus... Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did. The RONALD REAGAN virus... Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. The MIKE TYSON virus... Quits after two bytes. The OPRAH WINFREY virus... Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb. The JACK KEVORKIAN virus ... Deletes all old files. The ELLEN DEGENERATES virus... Disks can no longer be inserted. The PROZAC virus... Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care. The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... Only attacks minor files. The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back. And the favorite... The LORENA BOBBITT virus... Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.