Weekly Standard parody: "Crusader House"

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Cyrano, Sep 16, 2010.

  1. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    The Weekly Standard's last page every week is a humorous one, but usually with a bite to it. This week, they took up the following premise: The Muslim community is insisting that Cordoba House (aka the "Ground Zero Mosque") is a cultural center intended to build bridges and create understanding between Christians and Muslims. Well, what if the Roman Catholic Church were to build as similar center in the same neighborhood, with the same mission?

    Here follows the Mission Statement of Crusader House.

    Our Mission:

    Situated in New York City, one block from Ground Zero, a location chosen for no particular reason -- it's strictly a coincidence that airplane parts from the cross-cultural events of 9/11 rained down on this site, you can trust us on this point -- Crusader House will actively seek to implement innovative strategies for intercultural engagement. Our programs will draw inspiration from the storied Crusaders of the 11th to 13th centuries. Often misunderstood, Crusaders sought closer contact with their Muslim neighbors in the Holy Land. they reached out by employing the same cultural tactics that Muslims themselves used earlier in the millennium during a period of rapid and irresistible expansion. Muslim cross-cultural engagement had transformed Cordoba and a number of other Spanish cities into places where converts to Islam were vigorously welcomed.

    Mayor Bloomberg extended his warm support to Crusader house, once he was assured that this new cultural facility will have the same mission as Cordoba House.

    "They want us to build bridges," said Dick Plantagenet, chairman of the Crusader House Initiative and president of the Lions Club. "We want to be the first folks they meet when their bridges reach our shores. We, too, will be thinking 'outside the box,' which does not refer to the tall 'box' shape of the former World Trade Center towers."

    Plantagenet added, "Like Cordoba House, Crusader House will include all the amenities: theater facilities, arts center, basketball court, food court -- oh, and a swimming pool. It is important to compensate for the notorious shortage of swimming pools in New York City houses of worship."

    The concept photo of Crusader House would be instantly familiar to any student of medieval architecture. It is a fifteen story tall bailey castle in white brick and the motte-and-bailey style, including crenels and embrasures for archers - or riflemen.
  2. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    I was thinking it would be a great location for a pulled-pork, loose meat sandwich shop like the one in Lanford.

  3. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    The ONLY bridges, they want to build.

    Are the ones that are gonna be used, cross our moat.
    To attack our Castle!