Why English is so hard to learn? Dedicated to MarkII 22.

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Oct 3, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    The bandage was wound around the wound.
    The farm was used to produce produce.
    The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
    We must polish the Polish furniture.
    He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
    present the present.
    I did not object to the object.
    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    They were too close to the door to close it.
    Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?Let's face it -
    English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
    hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
    weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
    candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

    You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgins, you
    cannot buy threshers in Threshers, and the Superdrug chain is a
    disappointment.

    We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
    that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
    pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
    groce and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
    One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
    vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
    asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a
    play and play at a recital?

    We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
    that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while
    a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
    house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
    filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
    creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
    That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
    lights are out, they are invisible.

    And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you
    have to hit "START"?
    :D :nod:
     
  2. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    No wonder Marky is so confused! :D
     

  3. MarkII 22

    MarkII 22 Guest

    587
    1
    :hmmm: To true way to true Funny but way to TRUE. So true I want to :throwup: .:D :D
     
  4. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Hey Ox, how about cybertutoring Mark II ? Or is that to hard of a job? :D :D
     
  5. FEG

    FEG Guest

    517
    2
    CARPET: The word that lies like a rug.

    It is neither a "car," nor a "pet."
     
  6. Anybody ever see Gallagher do his comedy routine about some of the words in the English language? Thats FUNNY!
    I don't recommend that Mark watch it though----might confuse him.
    Just kiddin Mark!
     
  7. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    My favorite Gallagher routine is about his vegamatic slicer. (Real)Fruit's flying all over the place.(ha):nod: :D