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Woman Translations

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 14, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    Woman Translations

    At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).

    * You want = You want

    * We need = I want

    * It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

    * Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

    * We need to talk = I need to complain

    * Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

    * I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    * You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

    * You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

    * I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

    * Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

    * This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

    * I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

    * I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

    * Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

    * I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

    * Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

    * How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

    * I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

    * Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

    * You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

    * Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

    * Yes = No

    * No = No

    * Maybe = No

    * I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

    * Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

    * Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

    * I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

    * All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

    (THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?")

    * The same old thing = Nothing

    * Nothing = Everything

    * Everything = My PMS is acting up

    * Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a jerk

    * I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam
     
  2. Eric

    Eric G&G Newbie

    673
    0
    USA
    If only I'd a had that BEFORE I got married. Dang!
     

  3. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    How close you are...Very funny!:nod: