You know you are addicted to coffee if:

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 14, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    Addicted to Coffee?

    You know you are addicted to coffee if:

    You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
    You sleep with your eyes open.
    You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
    The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
    You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without
    using the timer.
    You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
    Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
    You chew on other people's fingernails.
    The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
    You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
    You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
    You can jump-start your car without cables.
    You don't sweat, you percolate.
    You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not
    plugged in.
    You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
    You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
    People get dizzy just watching you.
    Instant coffee takes too long.
    You channel surf faster without a remote.
    You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
    You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
    You short out motion detectors.
    You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
    Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
    You help your dog chase its tail.
    You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
    Your first-aid-kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
    You ski uphill.
    You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
    You answer the door before people knock.
    You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    You know your addicted if your sitting here at 0430 Ohio time on G&G "cause ya can't sleep from drinking to much of it (trying to sober up from too many Beam and cokes at my Amvets post, wifes mad, I'll buy her something nice at Cabelas wednesday, heck, I'll get something "pretty for me too!) :D