You Know You Live in......

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 2, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    California when ...
    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
    2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell
    3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
    5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
    6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them how long it
    will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You live in New York when.
    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
    2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
    3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
    Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
    4. You think Central Park is "nature."
    5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
    makes you multilingual.
    6. You've worn out a car horn.
    7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You live in Alaska (or Yellowknife) when. .
    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and

    You live in the Deep South when . . .
    1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
    2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
    3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
    4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
    5. Everyone has 2 first names.

    You live in Colorado when . . .
    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You live in the Midwest when . . .
    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
    different! "

    You live in Florida when...
    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

  2. Eric

    Eric Guest

    That is excellent and so true. I really like the 'living in the deep south'. I personally think we could add a few to the PRK one, just my opinion. Thanks, I got a great laugh out of'em. Good Shooting!

  3. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    You pegged Florida dead-on!
    Regarding the deep south, "y'all" is always plural. Only a yankee says "y'all" to one person.
    Y'all take care. :D
  4. jerry

    jerry Since 03-15- 2002 Forum Contributor

    I can vouch for the heat & A/C in the same day thing!
  5. Tanasi

    Tanasi Guest

    I don't hear y'all from anyone but Yankees trying to be southern. What's wrong with renting a movie and buying bait at the same place. I've actually done it.
    Just remember what Lewis Grizzard said "Yankees aren't real sure how smart we Southerners are, because we move slowly, and talk slowly. What they don't know is is that we're thinkin' all the time."

    Besides a call to God is a local call.

    L8R M8R

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Amen Tanasi, AMEN!
  7. Eric

    Eric Guest

    You go Tanasi! I am definately a southern native. My life is the epitome of a Jeff Foxworhty story. But, I still believe that us folks know what being an American is all about.