You're Lost Between Baby Boomer And Gen-Xer Ifâ€¦ You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool Any photo of you shows you wearing an Izod shirt with the collar turned up You know any Weird Al Yankovic songs by heart You've ever rung someone's doorbell and said, "Landshark!" You were once bowled over by the technological excellence of such products as Atari, Intellivision, TelStar, and Coleco You remember the premiere of MTV -- or worse yet, the debut of "Friday Night Videos" A dominant color in your childhood photos is plaid You remember when alternative music really was alternative, and alternative comedy was really funny You took family trips before the invention of the minivan You rode in the back of the station wagon facing the cars behind you Schoolhouse Rock played a huge part in how you learned things like grammar, math, and history (e.g. the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it) You ever dressed to like like someone in a Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, or Duran Duran video You remember your first kiss with someone having happened while either "Leather And Lace" or "Crazy For You" was playing You remember with pain the day the Green Machine hit the sidewalks, instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete "Where's The Beef" still makes you laugh You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly have more advanced special effects than "Tron" You had a crush on Ted from "Love Boat," Gage from "Emergency," or Ponch from "CHiPS" Your hair at some point in the 80s could only be described by saying "I was experimenting" You're starting to believe that having the kids in school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all You're currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major U-2 is too popular and mainstream for you now You guess which episode of "The Brady Bunch" it is just by watching the first scene You had a front row seat (i.e. blew off one or more classes) for Luke & Laura's wedding on "GH" You parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway You know who shot J.R. You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas stocking This rings a bell: "My name is Charlie, and they work for me" You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on You were sure that New Coke would never catch on You know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease" soundtrack You've ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut You sat with your friends on a Friday night in 1982 and dialed 867-5309 to see if Jenny was actually there "All skate, change directions" means something to you You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like Mork's You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli, or have ever smacked yourself in the head with a sneaker and exclaimed, "I'm so wasted!!" You owned a Preppy Handbook You were too young to see "Blue Lagoon," and had to settle for second-hand reports You remember when movies were only PG and R You learned to swim at the same time "Jaws" came out, and still carry the emotional scars to prove it You remember when you cable TV box had a sliding selector switch, and your cable remote was connected to the TV by a cord! Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg or, worst of all, Sheriff Roscoe's full name Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table You found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together You remember having a rotary phone You actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke "Members Only" jackets -- say no more You actually remember the words to the theme song of "The Greatest American Hero"